The attack of the sinister bellman
On a November afternoon, Sebastián was on his way home after an exhausting day at work. As he crossed an alley to shorten his path and get there sooner, he came across a peculiar individual: he wore an old, ragged robe that covered his entire body, and he wore a bell hanging from his testicles. Sebastián took out his wallet and offered him a handful of coins, but the fellow ripped off the wallet out of his hands and used it to slap him in the face. Given the appearance of the unfortunate individual, he decided to forgive him; he took his wallet back and went on his way without looking back. Suddenly, he heard running footsteps approaching him from behind, and the next thing he felt was a strong flying kick in the back of his neck and the sensation of his body hitting the cold, hard concrete. He begged the stranger to stop, but he kept kicking him on the ground until he almost broke his spine. Fortunately, a police officer arrived at the scene and beat the bellman. Sebastián took advantage of that moment to get up and take a thick metal tube with which he gave him a good whack. The force of the blow was such that the tube broke in two and the bellman could not stop shrieking in agony. Sebastian took the bell and ripped it off, testicles included. The man ran off while screaming. Sebastián's testimony "Altiro perros k hoy venia saliendo del jale en presidencia y cuando pase x un callejon me encontre a este kulero... el wey '''se andaba meneando y sonando una campana ke traia colgando de los webos' y me asusto bien kulero... dije pobre pendejo esta enfermo... saque mi billetera para darle unas moneditas pero el kulero me la arrebato y luego me dio una kachetada... yo me quede perplejo y por el aspekto del tipo decidi perdonarlo... alchile se ve ke esta bien puñetas, simplemente le quite mi billetera y me fui... pero el vato corrió hacia mi y se me abento con una pinche patada voladora a la nuka, yo cai al suelo y me retorci del dolor, le suplique k se detubiera pero el tipo me siguio dando patadas en el suelo asta casi romperme la kolumna... por suerte iba pasando un poli y le partio la madre a makanazos... cuando me reincorporé tome un tubo bien masiso ke estaba en el suelo y golpee al kabron con toda mi furia... le di tan fuerte k el tubo se partio en dos y el wey empeso a gritar a madres y a chillar komo mongolo... todavia no estaba satisfecho con mi venganza asi que lo agarre de la pinche campana k traia colgando y se la arranke con todo y weboz... el grito ke iso fue epico jajjaja pero aun asi tuvo energias para salir korriendo a madres.'' El kulero se la pensara dos veces antes de bolber a atakar a alguien asi en plena calle... solo keria contarles esta experiencia del dia de hoy vatos pongansen bien truchas si se les aparece este kulero corran porke es muy poderoso y si los agarra por sorpresa ya balio berga...".